However, even if I can easily communicate with others, it might not be in a good way. One major flaw that I have is that I can be brutally honest and lack tact when dealing with situations. For example, when people need a listening ear, I tend to tell them what they do not want to hear most. For people who do not know me, they might tend to misunderstand my intentions, thus offending people and giving them the wrong first impression.
By the end of the course, I hope that I can learn to be tactful as speaking without tact has caused people to feel offended and therefore poses an interpersonal problem. Learning to be tactful requires a change of habits, namely not thinking and processing before speaking. By stopping and thinking properly before speaking, it would prevent me from making hasty remarks and by stopping and thinking to organize my thoughts, I can come up with something that might not offend others.
Also, I hope that I can learn to speak more confidently as currently, I have problems speaking to large crowds of people. With a crowd, the sheer number of people overwhelms me and I will get nervous and tend to lose my thoughts. This could be classified as stage fright and I want to overcome it by the end of the course.
Marcus,
ReplyDeleteI really like your personality and the way you describe yourself. Your outgoing personality can help others to break through their wall and be more open to themselves, as they are able to make themselves more comfortable around you. As for your directness, you can always make yourself known to others that you are a very straightfoward person and they will understand your meanings even though you might say it. But you should only say such words only to people whom you are sure that is comfortable with you, so they will not take it the wrong way. You could have a slightly different way of aproaching people you might not be that familiar with, so as not to make mistakes when around them and accidentally causing trouble.
Stage fright is also what most of us have, even me! Lets try to overcome this together!
-Ernest
Dear Marcus,
ReplyDeleteWhen you said, 'tend to tell them what they do not want to hear most.' I remember clearly that you responded when I wanted to chase a certain girl and I do quote,'Dont be stupid la, you just broke up you know? give it a few month.' I believe that if i were a stranger to you I will be fully offended, but I do agree with you on it and I am taking my life slowly(being a very shy guy). I believe in a way it will wise to read the environment then react as surroundings change. People normally want others to tell them what they want, but I believe that it is necessary that the truth be told upfront. In addition, I believe there are various ways to tackle stage frights including standing in front of girls and playing with your hair.
Best regards,
Benjamin Lu
Hello Marcus!
ReplyDeleteI hope that I have provided good learning experiences from my life experiences and I firmly believe that you will do the right thing when you are forced to make a decision in a situation like mine. As for your flaw, I would say it is subjective as some people who need advising will really benefit from your honesty. I too also need to work on not making hasty remarks and stop to think before replying. let's overcome it together by the end of the course!
Wei Quan
Hi Marcus, first of all I strongly agree the way that you talk to other people and learn how to solve the problem through their experience. It shows you are a big guy with a smart brain. You say you are not a very good listener, sometimes you can be brutally honest and lack tact when dealing with situations, and some people will feeling offended. I know some tips about how to be a good listener.Some people think that, when they're listening, they should also have their gears turning to find a quick and easy solution to the person's problem. Instead of this attitude, I will take what the person says at face value, and take the time to think of a "solution" when the person is speaking. Just try to be patient, think and talk slowly. About how to build the confidence to make ourselves able to speak in front crowd people, this is also my target to achieve during this course. Hope my small advice is useful and both of us can achieve this target.
ReplyDeleteCharles
Dear Marcus,
ReplyDeleteBeing honest is a good, but maybe you mean being direct to the person about your thoughts. Sometime being direct can be hurtful to people that might not know you well. However, being direct is sometime all you need to pop the delusional bubble that they are living in to let them know what reality is.
There are ways to help you become a smooth speaker, the easiest, is to just pause, think and put yourself in the receiving end, then decide what is right or wrong to say. This might help you in the various difficulties. I am still in the process of learning to pause and think before saying, as i tell myself many times that it will save myself lots of trouble if i just think before i speak. There is no rush. I believe we can all do it, to be less hurtful to others.
Regards
Hong Kai.
Hi Marcus,
ReplyDeleteI feel that giving direct and honest opinion toward is good. However some who may be soft-hearted might not be able to take brutal remarks from you. This could lead them to an emotional breakdown or even worse a depression. You may want to be more observant about others’ feeling and emotion by picking information of their facial expression, tone and other nonverbal communication. Give each remarks depend of each an individual situation. I believe you can do it.
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teckcheng